May 2013
attains:
attains:
if i were a murderer i’d be the febreze murderer and lead my victims blindfolded to undisclosed locations and i’d ask them what they smelled and they’d be like “omg ocean air and tulips” and then i’d rip off the blindfold and it would be A PILE OF THE BODIES OF MY PREVIOUS VICTIMS
my mom made me go to a therapist because of this
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Straight person: I support gay rights.
Ignorant person: Gay.
Straight person: No, I think you misunderstood, I am heterosexual, but I don't see anything wrong with people who aren't the same as me, I think they deserve the same respect as the rest of us.
Ignorant person: Faggot. You're going to hell.
Straight person: Kay cool, brb gonna go kick a dog.
Ignorant person: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? It's just a dog it's not hurting anybody, why are you being so cruel to it?
Straight person: Oh lol wow didn't know you were a dog. Freak...
Ignorant person: I'm not a dog...
Straight person: Well obviously you are, why else would you being trying to stand up for dogs if you're not a dog?
Ignorant person: Wow, don't you know you can stand up for something without being it?
Straight person: ...
Ignorant person: oh...
Straight person: Go fuck yourself.
darrynek:
fuck you guys at least nationwide is on my side
bludgertothehead:
you’re lying if you say you’ve never recorded yourself singing because you were sure you had talent and were so deeply disappointed that you just deleted the recording and pretended it never happened
partybarackisinthehousetonight:
my life changed forever when i found out the word “slang” was actually slang for “shortened language”
tupacabra:
growlithed:
why did i come in here
idk man you said you were gonna pull out wtf dude
nefertiti-is-my-division:
its-tuesday-again:
sometimes i think i might be bi but then
i’d rather climb a mountain than go in a cave, you feel me
‘cause you can see everything on a mountain but you never know what’s lurking in a cave
are you implying that any given vagina may or may not contain a bear
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rimjobcreation:
bro do you even leviosa
Things that are still true about President Obama.
inothernews:
He does not want to take your guns.
He does not want anything more than to ensure most Americans have access to healthcare.
He does not sic the IRS on his political enemies.
He will not politicize a terrorist attack that killed four Americans.
Deal with it.